10x01 The One With The Green Light February 2004
[Scene: the next morning, Joey and Rachel are lying in bed, Joey is awake]
[Rachel wakes up, doesn’t know where she is]
Joey: [smiles] Morning.
Rachel: AHHHHH! [almost falls out of the bed] [collects herself] Oh, right. [smiles] Morning.
Joey: I can’t believe it. It’s like everything has changed.
Rachel: Yeah, that’s right. [pause] Do you think it was a mista—
Joey: Hey, don’t say that.
Rachel: But what are we gonna do next? Should we tell them?
Joey: I think it’s the best if we keep it a secret for a while.
Rachel: Yeah. But Monica and Phoebe know what feelings I’ve been having for you…
Joey: So Chandler and Ross don’t have any idea? Man, that’s gonna be hard.
Rachel: Yeah…
[awkward pause]
Joey: [grins] So how was I?
-Opening credits-
[in the hotel, Phoebe and Mike are sitting at a table, having breakfast]
[Rachel and Joey come along]
Mike: Hi!
Phoebe: Hi guys! Did you sleep well?
Rachel: [shocked] Um, well…uhhh…Yeah!
Phoebe: I was looking for you Joey, you weren’t in your room. And Rachel, why was your door locked?!
Rachel: Um, well…you know...
Phoebe: You don’t seem very talkative...
Joey: [takes the chair for Rachel] Here. [smiles to Rachel]
Rachel: Um, well…uhh…thanks.
Joey: I’ll go get the food. [leaves]
Rachel: Um, Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Phoebe: Sure. Mike? [looks at Mike]
Mike: I’m together with Phoebe for half a day and she’s already asking me to piss off…[leaves]
Rachel: Um, I have to talk to you. You have to promise not to tell anybody. And you have to promise not to let Joey know that you know, and Ross, too.
Phoebe: OK.
Rachel: Um, well…uhhhh…
Phoebe: [annoyed, impatient]Come on, spit it out! What’s wrong with you today!?!?
Rachel: [sighs] Joey found out about my feelings.
Phoebe:[surprised] Oh my god, that is huge!!!
Rachel: That’s not all. I asked him if he would like to, you know…get together—
Phoebe: OH MY GOD! That is huge!!!
Rachel: Shhh! That’s not all. He first said no, but then he came into my room and…kissed me.
Phoebe: OH MY GOD! THAT IS HUGE!!!!
Rachel: SHHHHH! That’s not all.
Phoebe: STILL NOT ALL!?
Rachel: Yeah, um…there’s a reason the door was locked…
Phoebe: OH MY GOD!!! THAT IS HUGER THAN HUGE!!!!
Rachel: SHHH!!!
Joey: [Comes with two plates of breakfast] What is huge??
Phoebe: Um, well, uhhhh… [Rachel rolls her eyes] You know, this spider under the table. Look!
Joey: Oh no! [runs away]
[In Monica’s and Chandler’s room, Monica and Chandler are there, Ross comes in]
Ross: [worried]I’m feeling very bad.
Chandler: Well, you should try “Esperitaps”, It’s supposed to be very effective…[grins]
Ross: [angrily] I can’t believe Phoebe told you that story.
Monica: Why, what’s up?
Ross: I did something very bad. I kissed Charlie, right after she broke up with Joey.
Monica: Oh no, he’s gonna scratch your face! Joey would never kiss your ex-girlfriend!
Ross: I know, but I have to tell him, I don’t want him to know it from someone else. It should be me who tells him.
Chandler: I think—
Monica: No, Chandler, that’s advice! [Chandler looks sad]
Ross: Do you think he’s gonna hate me? I don’t want him to hate me! But I also don’t want to lose Charlie!
Chandler: That’s a tricky situation. But I know Joey wouldn’t forbid you to be together with Charlie.
Ross: You’re sure?
Monica: Joey’s a good guy, he wants you to be happy.
Ross: Thanks you guys. [hugs Chandler and Monica][goes out]
[Charlie comes along the hallway]
Charlie: Hi Ross!
Ross: Hi. Listen, about yesterday…I think it’s the best if I let Joey know first before—
Charlie: I’m sorry, but…I just met Joey when he was on the way to the bathroom and he said that he saw us yesterday.
Ross: Oh no.
Charlie: I’m so sorry, I feel bad, too.
Ross: Did he sound mad or upset?
Charlie: [thinks] Actually, he seemed to be quite OK with that.
Ross: [surprised]Really? That’s weird. OK, it’s better if I took off now—
Charlie: Yeah. See you. [leaves]
[Ross sits down on a step, he’s very upset]
[Rachel comes along]
Rachel: Ross?
Ross: Yeah?
Rachel: Listen, I have to—
Ross: [upset]Can I tell you something?
Rachel: Yeah. [sits down next to Ross]
Ross: I feel very bad about this. I kissed Charlie yesterday.
Rachel: [surprised] Did you?
Ross: Yeah, and I don’t know how to tell Joey. I mean, he’s my friend, and I did something wrong… and Charlie told me that Joey saw us…I don’t know what to tell Joey!
Rachel:[realising something] Wait a second. When was that?
Ross: Yesterday, maybe an hour after my speech.
Rachel: [thinks about something] And Joey saw you? Oh. [Rachel is very upset] I have to go now. [leaves]
Ross: Wait! [Rachel’s already gone]
[Monica and Chandler come along]
Monica: Hey, Ross, what child should we adopt?
Chandler: I want to adopt an unwanted child whose parents live in New York, so it can get to know its real parents if the time comes.
Monica: No! A child from a poor family from south America or Asia would be the way to go.
Chandler: New York!
Monica. South America!!
Chandler: No, New York!!
Monica: No, South America!!
[Phoebe and Mike are sitting at a milkshake-bar, drinking]
[Monica and Chandler come along]
Monica: We have a problem, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Oh no, I always told you that Chandler isn’t good for you! [Chandler looks angry]
Monica: No, not that problem. We are fighting about what child we’re gonna adopt.
Phoebe: [excited]Oh, I know! You definitely should adopt a kid who, unless you adopt it, would live on the street!
Chandler: You’re just enlarging our problem, Pheebs.
Phoebe: Yeah, right, like anything on you was large! [Chandler looks angry again]
Monica: Look, the problem is, Chandler wants a child whose parents live in New York, or at least near New York so the child could meet its parents someday. But I think we should take one who is from a poor family in South America or Asia…
Mike: I think it’s pretty smart to introduce the kid to the parents someday—
Monica: [pointing at Mike] Hey, who asked you!!!
Chandler: We need to solve this problem fairly…
Phoebe: Yeah, you put three pieces of paper in a hat, and then you pick one!
Monica: Why three?
Phoebe: Because of the street kid!
[Monica and Chandler roll their eyes]
[Joey’s room, Joey is there, Rachel enters]
Joey: Hi Rachel! [wants to kiss her, but she moves her head away]
Rachel: I just heard what happened yesterday with you and Ross. And Charlie. And that you saw them and then came to me.
Joey: Oh, no, Rachel, it’s not what you think—
Rachel: [very upset] You only came to me to get back at Ross!
Joey: No, Rachel—
Rachel: Don’t you care how I would feel about it?
Joey: Rachel—
Rachel: This morning I was so happy, and now I feel…so used! [almost crying]
Joey: Hey, listen! [grabs Rachel at her arms] Look at me. [Rachel looks at Joey] I’ve been desperately in love with you since one year and a half. I’ve never been in love before. Do you really think I would use you to get back at Ross?
Rachel: Well, um…uhhhh…
Joey: Rach, I really don’t want you to think that. I’ve been thinking about us for such a long time, but as you know, I couldn’t do it to Ross. I would have a really bad conscience.
Rachel: But why—
Joey: That’s right, I wouldn’t have kissed you if I didn’t see Ross and Charlie together. And that’s also right, seeing them hurt me, and I was mad at Ross. But since you told me you liked me I couldn’t think of anything else, and seeing Ross with Charlie was just…you know, like a green light. Now my conscience isn’t that bad anymore.
Rachel: Well, um…you know—
Joey: So are we good?
Rachel: [looks at the floor for a while, then looks at Joey] Yes.
Joey: Great.
[they kiss]
Joey: So everything’s done now?
Rachel: You have to tell Ross.
Joey: Damn it, why did I even ask!?
[at the bar]
Monica: So did you already pack?
Mike: But the flight is this evening!
Monica: [shocked] You haven’t packed yet!?
Mike: N—
Phoebe: Yes, we have. Mike was just joking. [looks at Mike]
Mike: Uh…yeah.
Monica: [laughs relieved] Oh, that was a good one!
Chandler: My wife has a weird sense of humour. [Monica and Chandler leave]
[in Joey’s room]
Joey: So when should we tell him? In a month? A year?
Rachel: I think today.
Joey: [to himself] I have got to stop asking questions!!
Rachel: Oh my god, this is just so hard…
Joey: Hey, Rachel. We will make it. The worst thing that can happen is that Ross kills me.
Rachel: [ironically] Great, now I’m relieved…
Joey: Can you tell Ross?
Rachel: No, it’s the best if you told him…
Joey: [to himself] What did I just say about questions?!
[At the bar, Phoebe and Mike are there, Ross arrives]
Phoebe: Hey, Ross, look, I’m a mind reader!! Mike, think of something.
Mike: OK.
Phoebe: You’re thinking that the palaeontologist in front of the artificial plant is really ugly.
Mike: [acting surprised] Yeah!!
Phoebe: Now you’re asking yourself why your milkshake has no tiny umbrella.
Mike: [acting surprised] Yes!!
Phoebe: Now Ross, you guess.
Ross: No, I can’t right now…
Phoebe: Just one try!
Ross: All right. Um…you’re thinking that the floor should be cleaned soon?
Mike: Ohhh, I’m sorry, that’s wrong…
[Phoebe and Mike high-five]
Phoebe: You wanted to tell us something?
Ross: Um, I wanted to know if you guys saw Joey…
Phoebe: Why? You wanna tell him something?
Ross: Why? [shocked]Do you know something?
Phoebe: [realising what she said] No, I don’t know anything! But I know you’re soon gonna hear some shocking news!
Ross: What? What happened?
Phoebe: [realising what she just said] Nothing, I can’t tell you.
Ross: Come on!
Phoebe: It has something to do with Rachel.
Ross: With Rachel? [confused] What is so shocking about Rachel?
Phoebe: …I can’t tell you.
Ross: Come on, you’re frightening me!
Phoebe: ….It, um, has something, something to do with hair.
Ross: Hair? With Rachel’s hair?
Phoebe: …Maybe.
Ross: What, something happened to Rachel’s hair?
Phoebe: …Kind of.
Ross: [gives up]OK, I have to look for Joey now, I really need to talk to him. [leaves]
Phoebe: [looking at Ross] [to Mike] There goes the dino-man!
[In Joey’s room, Rachel is sitting on Joey’s lap]
Rachel: I can’t believe it, it’s such a big deal! I’m so afraid what the others would think…
Joey: Me too. But, the important thing is, us.
Rachel: You’re right. [kisses Joey]Hey, my wish came true!
Joey: What wish?
Rachel: When I arrived on the island, I wished I could share the vacation with a guy.
Joey: Which guy?
Rachel: [rolls her eyes] You!
Joey: Oh, right! Here’s another question. You said that there’s somebody back in New York you liked. You still haven’t told me who it is.
Rachel: [rolls her eyes again] It was you!!
Joey: Oh, right! [to himself] There’s no reason to be jealous of me!
Rachel: I’m gonna go packing now. See ya! [kisses Joey, then leaves]
Joey: [to himself] Rachel wanted to share the vacation with me. There’s someone in New York she likes, and it’s me. I rock! [grins]
[in Phoebe’s and Mike’s room, Phoebe and Mike are packing]
[Monica and Chandler come in]
Monica: [shocked] You haven’t packed yet?
Phoebe: [thinking of an answer]No, no, no. We packed. But…it was so fun that we decided to do it again!
Monica: [smiles] It is fun, right?
Mike: Absolutely.
Monica: See? Can I help?
Phoebe & Mike: [quickly] NO!
Phoebe: …So have you figured out a way to decide about the child?
Monica & Chandler: [quickly] NO!
Chandler: Let’s adopt a New York kid.
Monica: NO!….Let’s adopt a South American kid.
Chandler: NO!
Mike: Then do the thing with the hat and the paper—
Monica & Chandler: NO!
Phoebe: Then you have to take the street kid.
Monica & Chandler: NO!
Chandler: Mike should decide.
Monica: NO!
Mike: Then Phoebe should decide.
Monica & Chandler: NO!
Monica: OK, we should make a list with pros and cons…then we put the reasons in alphabetical order, in folders…
Chandler & Phoebe & Mike: GO!
[Monica looks cranky, then goes]
[in Joey’s room, Joey’s there, Ross enters]
Ross: [depressed] Hi.
Joey: [depressed] Hey.
Ross: Listen, I am so sorry—
Joey: That’s OK. I saw that coming, you and Charlie really have a lot in common, and you’re perfect for each other. I give you the green light, go ahead, be together, I have nothing against that.
Ross: [surprised] Really? Thanks a lot, you’re great [hugs Joey] I mean, I thought you would be mad at me.
Joey: Hey, why should I be mad? You’re my friend.
Ross: But there are certain rules, you know, you’re not supposed to have a thing with your friends’ ex-girlfriends…
Joey: [realizing something] Um, you know what, let’s just forget about that rule, that rule is crap.
Ross: What?
Joey: Ehh, listen, there’s something you have to kn—
[Monica comes in]
Monica: [worried & excited]Come on, you guys, our plane leaves in three hours, we have to leave the hotel in one hour, and we can’t be late, the plane could leave early, we don’t have much time, go, go, go!!!!!
[Joey looks depressed]
Ross: All right, I’ll go, before you punch me again…[leaves]
Monica: Joey, go go go!!!! [Claps her hand while speaking] [calmly]Hey Joey, are you OK? I just heard about that Charlie thing.
Joey: Yeah, I’m absolutely fine about that.
Monica: That’s great. But – but is there something else that is bothering you? You look so depressed.
Joey:[sighs] OK. Sit down. [Monica sits on the bed]
Monica: OK.
Joey: Well, I now have a new girlfriend.
Monica:[feeling sorry] Oh, and now you have to leave…I’m so sorry.
Joey: No, that’s not the problem.
Monica: [realising something] HHOOOOO! It’s Rachel!!!
Joey: Shhh!!…Yeah.
Monica: Oh my god!!
Joey: Don’t make a big deal of this! Please!
Monica: All right, but…but how are you gonna tell Ross?
[Rachel comes in]
Rachel: [Doesn’t see Monica]Hi sweety, I’m ready to go, what about you [puts her hands on Joey’s face and wants to kiss him, then sees Monica] …um, uhh…OK, you’re ready too, Ross hasn’t painted an moustache on you, cause [looks at Monica, fake laughing] that stuff just won’t come off, and we don’t want that to happen, do we?
Monica: I know about you and Joey.
Rachel: [fake laughing] What? You’re crazy. How do you want to know that?
Joey: I told her.
Rachel: [not laughing] Oh.
Monica: OK, listen, I’m really happy for you. [Monica – Rachel – Joey – group hug]
[Phoebe comes in]
Phoebe: [smiling] Oh, so Monica knows about you two, huh?
[Rachel looks innocently on the ceiling]
Joey: You told her!?
Rachel: Well, um, uhhh, …[loudly] LET’S KEEP HUGGING!!! [Phoebe joins the hug]
[In some hallway, Ross comes out with his baggage, Charlie comes along]
Ross: [happily] Hi Charlie, I’ve been looking for you!
Charlie: Wow, you’ seem surprisingly happy for a guy who just betrayed his best friend—
Ross: Hey, don’t make it worse! [grins] Joey is absolutely ok with us. He gave us the green light.
Charlie: [smiles] Really? Oh, he’s such a good guy!
[embarrassing pause]
Ross: Isn’t a kiss appropriate now?
Charlie: [quickly] Yeah.
[they kiss]
[somewhere in the hotel, Chandler and Mike are there]
[embarrassing silence]
Chandler: So…you’re back with Phoebe now?
Mike: [sarcastically] No. I just come here on Barbados every week.
Chandler: [fake laughing] OK, but I have to warn you: Sarcastic comments? My thing!!
Mike: So…how does it feel being married to a freak?
Chandler: You mean Monica? A freak? Was that a sarcastic comment? Cause, if yes, then you really have to work on that. [grins]
Mike: Oh, come on, Monica is clearly a freak!
Chandler: Oh yeah? Well, if Monica’s a freak, then what is Phoebe??
Mike: She told me that Monica keeps the cups labelled with numbers!
Chandler: [upset]Oh yeah? Phoebe’s brother thought she was a hooker!
Mike: OH!! Phoebe told me Monica was actually looking for Joey that night you did it!!!
Chandler: OHHH!! Phoebe thinks that mouse-shaped marshmallows are real dead mice!!!
Mike: OH!! Phoebe told me that Rachel and Joey did it last night!
Chandler: OHHH!!!…….oh. [he looks shocked]
Mike: Oops. Oh, I remember, that was supposed to be a secret.
[Scene: On the plane, the plane is in the air. Monica and Chandler, Rachel and Joey, Ross and Charlie, Phoebe and Mike are there]
Charlie: [to Ross] Hey, Ross. I’m going to the bathroom now.
Ross: OK.
[Charlie leaves]
[Ross thinks about something for a while, then he gets up and goes to the bathroom]
Chandler: [to Monica] Listen, do you remember the flight when we came back from London?
Monica: Yeah. I was waiting for you in the bathroom for half an hour.
Chandler: But, that was Joey’s fault!!!
Monica: Yeah, right!
Chandler: Here’s an idea: Now we have the chance again, and as long no one looks… [looks over to the others] Hey, where are they?
Monica: [grins] Yes, you’re right! Now we have the chance! London, Barbados – that’s, like, the same!
Chandler: Yeah!! [they get up]
-Ending credits-
[Scene: Still on the plane, in front of the bathroom doors, a little while later]
[Mike comes out of one bathroom, looks at his left and his right. Chandler comes out of another bathroom door, he and Mike look at each other without saying anything. Then Joey comes out of the third door, looking at Mike and Chandler, frowns, he says nothing. Joey, Mike and Chandler all look at the fourth bathroom door, waiting for someone to come out. The fourth bathroom door opens, and Ross comes out. The four guys look at each other. Without saying anything, they all get back to their seats]
[Scene: A little while later again, still in front of the bathrooms]
[Phoebe comes out of one bathroom, straightening her blouse. Her hair is messed up. Then Monica comes out (also with messy hair) and she and Phoebe look at each other, saying nothing. The third door opens and Charlie comes out (also with messy hair). The three girls look at each other, embarrassing silence. Rachel comes out of the last door and her hair is messed up]
Phoebe: [looks at Rachel] There you go! There is something about Rachel’s hair!!
[Rachel, Charlie and Monica look confused]
-The End-